So This Is Christmas

The holidays are upon us.

Cold and flu season is, uh, also upon us. There are sick people in the houses of both Rob and Patrick, and yet, one can't help but wax nostalgic about the past.

Holiday traditions ebb and flow over the years, depending on circumstances. Do you have a kid? Are YOU the kid? How long have you been with your partner? Do you have to travel for the holidays? What if you just didn't do anything at all?

These questions and more as Patrick and Rob close out their letter series for 2025. We'll see you next year!

Patrick: As I write this, I’m not sure what my family is doing for Christmas. 

The usual dynamic—Christmas Eve at our house with a few family members, Christmas Day at my mom’s house with a larger group of family members—has been our flow since…well, since we moved into the house. Since we had our first kid. Since we had an opportunity to reset the holiday dynamic. I am not married to this dynamic insomuch as it’s the one we fell in rhythm to.

My brother had a kid in the past week, and while everything is broadly okay, the labor was bumpy and sometimes scary and they’ve had to return to the hospital on at least one occasion.

Do they want to come visit us? Do they want us to come visit them? Are we swapping where we get together in the future, now that they have a kid and their priorities are likely going to shift?

These are, all told, not big problems. I’m fine with whatever. My kids, however, are worried. 

“How will Santa find us in Wisconsin?” (My oldest still believes but it’s teetering. Her friend group is split on whether Santa is real, and soon enough, I think she’ll put two and two together.)

“I like opening presents at home, I don’t want to open them in Wisconsin.”

Honestly, the bit my nine-year-old is worried about the most is her ongoing bit of driving around in the car with all of us and trying to find as many small Baby Jesus setups in people’s lawns. (It used to be, like, 10 of them we had to find. Last year, she made us track down 30, I think?) We’re in the midst of suburbia in Illinois, but in southern Wisconsin, we would likely have trouble finding nearly as many little Jesus toys scattered throughout. It’s a reasonable worry to have.

My wife, too, is worried. She loves to plan and does poorly without enough time to mull a plan.

My guess is we’ll stick around Illinois and do a “normal” Christmas, then hop in the car and head to Wisconsin to have some version of “Christmas 2.” It’s like that great GIF: same…but different.

Change is hard for young kids. Change is also hard as you’re older, and I think if we’ve learned anything about ourselves over the course of writing these letters, Rob, it’s true that we’re old. But you’re in a new house, which means it’s time for your dynamic to undergo a shift. I also suspect you are a person of ritual. But your rituals may not 100% map in the new house.

How are you thinking about the holidays, now that we’re a week out?

I also gotta know your verdict on Christmas music. Lord knows you have an opinion on it.

Rob: I was mulling this over just the other day. We rarely go home to Indiana for the holidays since we moved out to Boston, so we tend to stay at home and just relax. I have mixed feelings about this. On the one hand, we are spared the hassle of traveling over the holidays and get to stay very comfortable in a home we've really tailored to our lives. On the other hand, Christmas really doesn't feel like a special day anymore. We rarely have so much money that we can do a ton of gift-giving and that's especially true this year, where every penny we have is being thrown at issues with the new house. So there's not a whole lot that sets the day apart, and I miss that.

The new place does offer new opportunities. It's easier to cook here. There's more space for decorations. Throw a rock in any direction and you'll hit a cute New England town with a nice downtown area that looks like a Christmas card. Snow tends to stick on the ground and stay brilliantly white so it doesn't take much to feel like you're in the proverbial winter wonderland.

So I think we'll try and put a little extra effort into decorating and coming up with a special holiday menu that won't feel completely overwhelming to try and execute. For a number of years there we went all-out at Thanksgiving and Christmas and got to a point where we had pretty amazing turkey, stuffing, cranberry sauce, brussels sprouts, and pies. I think what we learned from that is it's not really worth all that effort and there's almost no job a turkey can do that some other cut of meat can't do better.

Maybe this year I learn to make good deep-dish?