I had an MRI this past Friday—well, 2/3rds of an MRI. 15 minutes in, the tech calmly asked "hey, man, are you okay?" And I was definitely not. Leading up to the MRI—an entirely precautionary measure to completely rule out the unlikely possibility of a growth on my ear related to my hearing loss—I kept getting asked by the doctors and others involved "hey, are you claustrophobic?" My response was always "I mean, does anyone like being put in a coffin?" Nobody laughed, but I figured I could handle 20ish minutes of being a little uncomfortable.
The moment I was shoved into my loud tomb, the panic set in. I clenched up, started squirming around, scratched my face—all the things I was told not to do. I clenched the device I could squeeze to ask for help, but ultimately resisted, after coming up with a system of closing my eyes, counting to 250, and then starting over. My heat rate slowed, my breathing became in rhythm, and the machine was doing its thing. Over time, I wanted to squirm, so I tried moving my toes back and forth—one of the few things I was allowed to do. That didn't last long, and soon enough it was clear to everyone—me, the technician, the tomb—that I wasn't getting through the rest of this. The nice guy took me out, recommended I get some la la pills from the doctor to help me relax, and finish the MRI next week. God (and pills) willing.
-pk, who will do his best to just not think about next Friday anymore
- PODCAST: Sports! – With the NBA playoffs kicking off, Rob and Patrick gather around their sports microphones to talk—well, it takes a minute until we reach the NBA playoffs. A child that accidentally falls in love with the Chicago Bears? Check. Torpedo bats? Check. MLB salary caps? Check. Stephen A. Smith and the vacuum of Democratic politicians speaking to the moment? Check, check, check.
- STREAM: Patrick vs. Hopshot – Patrick is ready to conquer the challenge of Hopshot, but will the gay frogs allow it?
- ARTICLE: Remap Recommends – Ethically compromised rehearsals, Hollywood Kool-Aid, and...well, Netrunner.
- STREAM: Wheel of GeForce NOW – Look. We're just going to play a ton of Command & Conquer and games like Command & Conquer, okay?
- ARTICLE: Deep Cuts – Rob and Patrick explore the strange detours their favorite developers have made over the years.
- STREAM: Civilization VII – Rob wanted a fight and won the war. Now what?
You Should Play Clair Obscur: Expedition 33
This is, briefly, an early endorsement for what's obviously going to be one of my favorite games of the year. It's nice when you can feel that in your bones in the opening moments of a game. Seriously, we're talking the prologue of this French take on the JRPG. I didn't know who any of these characters were, what was happening in this world, and I was on the verge of tears in less than an hour.
Hell yes.
That's before the game revealed its stylish and turn-based combat system, even if it's one that I seem to barely scratching the surface of and constantly messing up? And then, as if these developers specifically wanted to make a game for Patrick, the game appears to reveal reveal one of its primary inspirations is Final Fantasy VIII.
Again: hell yes.
I do not lose myself in long RPGs very often, but I'll be eating this up.
Clair Obscur: Expedition 33, goofy name and all, you are cooking.
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